Brett Favre is Livid
Brett Favre is livid. First there was Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, then Michael Jackson and now Sarah Palin. The poor guy cannot catch a break. Since June 12, 2009 no one has talked about gunslingin’. No one has even mentioned Wranglers. And no one cared that he went to TCBY in the Eden Prairie Mall.
First Iran. Now as a lot of you probably know Mir-Hossein Mousavi was a serious challenger to the much maligned incumbent Ahmadinejad. I know, I know, Mehdir Karroubi was also in the running; but let’s be honest he was the Ralph Nader of the contest. After “yada, yada’ing” over the boring parts we can cut to the chase that Ahmadinejad won by a margin seemingly mathematically impossible. The Ayatollah declared him the winner and the protests ofthe fraudulent election spilled into the streets of Tehran. Meanwhile in Kiln, Mississippi Brett Favre turned on his TV. Expecting to see Greta Van Susteren pontificating about what meant Brad Childress meant when he said “we are always looking at ways of improving our team.” Instead, he was aghast to find out that the live 24 hour coverage of his ranch on CNN, Fox News and even the PAX channel was no longer on. Who is this Mahmoud Ahmadinejad? Isn’t he a corner back for the Oakland Raiders? One time in 2003 I threw for 399 yards and four scores on Monday Night Football against the Raiders. If Ahmadinejad has left football to be president of Iran, I could probably still do that. The world needs to know this. But unfortunately, Bus Cook’s presser was only attended by an intern at the Maple Grove Junior High morning show.
So a couple of weeks pass by and Brett bides his time. These Iranians will calm down soon enough and maybe a preordained shopping trip to the Mall of America where the media (who has already been clandestinely alerted) will capture me riding down Paul Bunyan’s log chute will help them do that. Well, that trip down the log chute where he was going to flash a number “4” with his fingers so that the camera could capture it as a still shot and then sell it to him for $24.99 never happened. Michael Jackson. The King of Pop. Thriller, the moonwalk, Beat It, Bad, Billie Jean and you can go on and on. June 25, 2009 Michael Jackson suddenly and tragically passed away in his rented Los Angeles residence. He too, was in the midst of a great comeback. If anyone knew how to make a comeback it was Michael Jackson. Brett respected Michael Jackson. The wall to wall Michael Jackson coverage overshadowed Iran. It greatly eclipsed a story of a missing governor. It would surpass even Brett Favre playing catch with John Madden. As the nation mourned Michael, another person who has been no stranger of attention from the media had an announcement. On July 3, 2009 Sarah Palin announced her resignation from the gubernatorial office of Alaska. Creating wild speculation that she was prepping for a 2012 run to the White House. Now Brett Favre respected Sarah Palin’s hustle. Here was a great American, on the eve of the most American of all American holidays announcing her retirement; only to come out of retirement and be governor of Saskatchewan just to get revenge on Alaska. I mean run for President. Don’t call it a comeback, she’s been here for years he thought to himself. Well played Palin. So he would have to wait. The media frenzy will soon calm back down. Soon people will care when he takes Katie Couric with him for a follow up appointment with Dr. James Andrews. The only question is when? When can he announce his great return? How about October 4th? The day before Green Bay comes to the Metrodome.